StickyGram Review

LOVE. 

Easy, good quality, quick (even to Canada!) - fridge magnets will never be the same. 

(For $2 off your first order, coupon code FRIENDHP09 should do the trick.)

Mother's Day, Dairy Cow

Last week, Steve's boss compared me to a dairy cow. I should probably feel offended, but I can't help but find it hilarious.

(Steve's boss grew up on a dairy farm. When Steve told him that I was in rough shape fighting mastitis, he was very sympathetic - apparently the cows used to really suffer when they got hit. Poor cows. Also? Heh.)

Mother's Day was nice. The girls were up too early, we ate breakfast together, we drank (Starbucks) together. After Steve left for the airport, we managed bike rides to the park before and after nap time. Adele figured out how to climb stairs, then she climbed all of them. Frances had two insane tantrums, both after our bike rides in the too-hot weather. We survived dinner, baths, bedtimes.

Being a mom is hard. And it is the best.

 

 

(All photos taken today. It was a good camera day, even though Frances won't let me take her photo anymore.)

Whirlwind

On Thursday morning, a good friend arrived at my place with her kids for a planned lunch date... it went wonderfully until I broke down crying about 10 minutes after they arrived.

...

It's been a busy, crazy week. 

After a week of solo-parenting and a girls-only road trip to Calgary and Drumheller, Steve got back from LA on Friday night, leaving me enough time to run out of the house to pick up a last-minute wedding gift.

...

Saturday was a whirlwind. Steve left first thing for his normal weekend run/coffee-date while I ran around like a crazy person getting ready for a wedding and weekend out of town. I did my hair, put on makeup and a real bra (this will become important), and donned a dress for the first time in months. I fed the girls, packed their party clothes, fancied up Frances' hair... I was a machine. 

After the car and girls were packed later that morning, Steve tried to start the car, but... dead battery. FFS. 

*cue Natalie stressing out and rushing to transfer everything/everyone to the other car while Steve leisurely tries to figure out why the battery died*

We got onto the road with just enough time to spare. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, mercifully short for a Catholic wedding. The girls were superstars. 

Then... hotel check-in, trip to the pool for Steve and Frances, too-short nap for Adele,  a great visit/dinner/party at the wedding reception. We all stayed up way past our bedtimes. 

...

I've been dealing with issues having to do with my father's estate since October. This week, it became outrageously frustrating - to the point where my poor aunt, my father's executor, was breaking down from the stress and ridiculousness. After trying to avoid the fact for months, I finally recognized that we're going to have to hire a lawyer to have things sorted out. (I'm current ignoring the need to hire a lawyer and pretending that I don't have to do anything - LALALALA - 

but I'll have to take my head out of the sand to deal with this sooner than later. Sigh.)

...

On Wednesday night, I barely slept. I couldn't stop thinking about the nightmare that we'll likely have to endure once we find a lawyer. And I couldn't stop thinking about my return to work, the search for child care, all sorts of other funfun stuff. Adele also made sure that my sleep was interrupted within 20 minutes of falling asleep - poor teething kid. I was already definitely feeling... off.

...

I knew something was wrong when I woke up on Thursday morning. It felt like, well, like someone had drop-kicked me in the side of my left breast. I couldn't feel anything wrong, but it was definitely uncomfortable.

By 11am, I was in a lot of pain and couldn't stay on my feet for long without feeling like I was going to pass out. Nursing on the left side was excruciating. 

Frances was dropped off by her grandpa at 11:30, about the same time as my friend and her kids arrived. I was able to start making lunch and start a pot of coffee before before I had to sit down with a glass of cold water. 

"Nat, what's wrong?"

"I feel like I'm going to pass out."

*cue exhausted crying*

"You look grey. What's wrong??"

"I didn't sleep last night. And last weekend was really stressful. And I'm pretty sure I have mastitis. And, and, and..."

At which point she ordered me to go take a nap while she finished lunch and watched the kids. Initially, I refused and tried to carry on... But, when I couldn't sit upright reliably anymore, I relented. (She's a nurse by trade, told me I'm overdoing it, and said that I'm a terrible patient.)

After about an hour of resting and unsuccessfully trying to get in touch with Steve, I called my in-laws to pick up the girls. (Both girls, for the first time. I felt wretched and just wanted to sleep.) I also seriously considered stopping nursing cold-turkey because OMFG.

By the time Steve got home mid-afternoon, I was too exhausted and in-pain to get up to go to the doctor's. Dr Google said my fever wasn't quite bad enough to require immediate medical attention, so I thought staying at home was reasonable. (Dumb, dumb, dumb.)

...

With the help of a bottle of ibuprofen, I was able to get most of a night's sleep Thursday night. But? Things were not looking great in the morning. 

So. 

I ditched the big kid again, waited for the on-call Dr at my family clinic, showed off my awesome multi-coloured breasts to some (really lovely) 12-year-old doctor, and came home with a bottle of antibiotics. 

Funny thing? The only thing that I can think of that may have brought on the infection is the miserable bra that I wore on the weekend. Sigh. 

...

Moral of the story? 

Don't overdo it or else your body will Mess. You. Up. 

DO NOT leave a hand-written will with gaping holes for your kids to deal with. Hire. An. Expert. Because GAH. 

Most of all? If you're a nursing mom, don't you dare wear an underwire bra for any reason. Ever. 

... 

End. 

Not a post

Just... Everyone should read this: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Leave. Random.

I start back at work in two months.

Can I expect the anxiety to get progressively worse from here on in?

...

I'm not as stressed about arranging childcare as I was last time, but it's tough that Adele is solidly an omg-I-want-my-mommmm kinda gal.

...

Is it strange that one of the parts of going back that I'm most looking forward to is... dressing well, wearing makeup, making some effort with my hair?

Related: I dressed up this weekend for a wedding. At home, I asked if I looked ok - I got two responses:

"Wow!! You look so beautiful!"

and...

"Fine, I guess."

Sigh.

...

Steve travels 6-8 weeks every year - thankfully, he has a fair bit of control over the scheduling of the travel.

Pro: He can finish all scheduled travel before I start back.

Con: Whoa, solo-parenting.

...

I'm looking forward to feeling productive, appreciated, good at what I do again... even though it'll be tough. And even though I'll miss the girls like crazy. This mom stuff is not an easy gig. 

Joy

Solo parenting: week 1, day 6