My 15 week appointment was in mid-January. I love seeing medical professionals that don't seem like complete idiots. And don't go out of their way to make me feel stupid and anxious. *Wheee*
Concerns that the last clinic had about my pregnancy, and the thoughts of my new doctors/nurses:
...
Old clinic: Your weight is a concern. You've gained too much in your first 11 weeks & you gained too much during your last pregnancy.
New clinic (and I quote!): Well, we considered reinforcing the floors to prepare for your visit, but then decided that maybe that was overkill. (This doctor is hilarious. He was deadpan-funny last pregnancy, too... Love.)
...
Old clinic: You're at risk for gestational diabetes. Um... you might not be be at risk. Uhhh.... you're not at risk now!
New clinic: You have absolutely no indications that GD is a risk factor - we'll test you at the normal 25+ weeks, but it would make no sense before then.
...
Old clinic: Are you sure you're pregnant? And that you haven't miscarried?
New clinic: Your measurements are perfect, the heartbeat is normal, the nuchal screening ultrasound looks like you're very low risk for chromosomal abnormalities.
...
Old clinic: Your TSH is high, but we're going to ignore it even though it got dangerously high last pregnancy.
New clinic: We'd like to monitor your TSH so that we can maintain it if it gets worrisome. Can you retest in the next day or two?
...
Old clinic: You are Slovakian.
New clinic: We are not asshats.
...
Ahem.
I'm feeling much better now - about the pregnancy, about my prenatal care, and about things in general...
(The funeral was... good. It was the afternoon before the prenatal visit and... it helped. Earlier that week, Steve was asked to put together a photo slideshow, and... it was good to have something to do to help. Because no one knows how to help in such a hellish situation. It was also good to see friends that we don't make enough of an effort to stay in touch with - It reminded us how important people are. And it gave us strength to see how gracefully our friends dealing with the death of their child. It was... it was.)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Hormonal Pregnant Woman (Woes)
Immediately after the disaster of a prenatal visit at 11 weeks, I called the clinic that I used with Frances to switch back to them. Even though they're less convenient. And even though I have to pay for parking. Because I didn't want stupid people monitoring my pregnancy. And because I value my mental health. Gah.
And, even though I felt worlds better after booking my January appointment with a doctor I like and trust, I was still convinced that the baby was dead.
Some of my more fun search terms in the days following the 11wk visit:
no heartbeat at 11 weeks on doppler
where to get a fetal doppler edmonton
miscarriage risk statistics
how long can a fetus be dead before miscarrying
reasons for fetal doppler not picking up heartbeat
And I was mopey. And exhausted (because I was pregnant. Duh.) And just generally miserable. Poor Steve.
A couple of days after the 11wk visit, after having to deal with his psycho pregnant wife for two days, Steve started looking into fetal doppler rentals. But... after calling a few places, there was nothing that we could get before the Christmas holidays started. Then, he started calling around to all the boutique baby stores around town to see if they had any in stock. But... nothing, not that we could get before Christmas.
And after deciding that I needed an early ultrasound to make sure that everything was ok, I called all the u/s places in town. Nothing was available before Christmas. And nothing was available in the town where we were spending the holidays. And nothing was keeping me from being a psycho miserable pregnant woman. Sigh.
So. I was convinced that I would miscarry on holidays. While sharing a condo with my inlaws. And with my parents and little brother in a hotel down the street. I was... not in the best of spirits.
Then... on the day we left for holidays... Steve tracked down a doppler. (The saint.)
But... after trying that day for ages to find the heartbeat... nothing.
Ditto for the next several days.
Eugh.
Finally, at about 13 weeks... bingo.
I only heard it for about 10 seconds before losing it again, but... it was enough... I was... overwhelmingly relieved.
(Two days before I heard the heartbeat for the first time, we found out... terrible news. It was... indescribable. It still is. Since then... our happiness at having this new child is... tempered, I suppose. Fear is always part of being a parent, but... this news was... So. Intrinsically. Wrong. It put a new edge on the fear we have as parents. We're... managing... but... we don't forget.)
And, even though I felt worlds better after booking my January appointment with a doctor I like and trust, I was still convinced that the baby was dead.
Some of my more fun search terms in the days following the 11wk visit:
no heartbeat at 11 weeks on doppler
where to get a fetal doppler edmonton
miscarriage risk statistics
how long can a fetus be dead before miscarrying
reasons for fetal doppler not picking up heartbeat
And I was mopey. And exhausted (because I was pregnant. Duh.) And just generally miserable. Poor Steve.
A couple of days after the 11wk visit, after having to deal with his psycho pregnant wife for two days, Steve started looking into fetal doppler rentals. But... after calling a few places, there was nothing that we could get before the Christmas holidays started. Then, he started calling around to all the boutique baby stores around town to see if they had any in stock. But... nothing, not that we could get before Christmas.
And after deciding that I needed an early ultrasound to make sure that everything was ok, I called all the u/s places in town. Nothing was available before Christmas. And nothing was available in the town where we were spending the holidays. And nothing was keeping me from being a psycho miserable pregnant woman. Sigh.
So. I was convinced that I would miscarry on holidays. While sharing a condo with my inlaws. And with my parents and little brother in a hotel down the street. I was... not in the best of spirits.
Then... on the day we left for holidays... Steve tracked down a doppler. (The saint.)
But... after trying that day for ages to find the heartbeat... nothing.
Ditto for the next several days.
Eugh.
Finally, at about 13 weeks... bingo.
I only heard it for about 10 seconds before losing it again, but... it was enough... I was... overwhelmingly relieved.
(Two days before I heard the heartbeat for the first time, we found out... terrible news. It was... indescribable. It still is. Since then... our happiness at having this new child is... tempered, I suppose. Fear is always part of being a parent, but... this news was... So. Intrinsically. Wrong. It put a new edge on the fear we have as parents. We're... managing... but... we don't forget.)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Second Prenal Visit: I Hate My Prenal Care Team
Some of the conversations from my second prenal visit, at 11 weeks, with a nurse, a student doctor and a resident, and finally with a dr-dr. (Hellish, all of it.)
The Nurse
Nurse: You should really watch your weight during this pregnancy because of how much you gained with the first.
(I gained 60lbs. It was terrible, but I lost it by about 7mo postpartum.)
Natalie: Um. My doctors from the last pregnancy said that I probably gained that much because I was underweight to begin with, and that it wasn't anything to worry about.
Nurse: You should only gain 20-25lbs.
Natalie: Uhhhh....
The Resident & (really lovely) Student
Resident: Do you have any questions?
Natalie: Yes, I was wondering if the gestational diabetes screening at 10 weeks is warranted considering I have no risk factors.
Resident: *looks at chart* Um. I'm not sure why that was ordered. We'll double-check with the Dr, but I don't think it's necessary until after the 24th week...
Doctor-doctor
After confirming GDS is not required right now, and after resident tried unsuccessfully to find a heartbeat with the doppler for about 10 minutes, Dr-dr tries to find the heartbeat:
Dr-dr: Huh. Normally we can find the heartbeat by now. *tries some more* Have you had any cramping or bleeding?
Natalie: No.
Dr-dr: Hm. None at all?
Natalie: No.
Dr-dr: And when you tested, you were definitely pregnant?
Natalie: Yes, there were two lines. And the timing makes sense. And I'm extremely regular, but I haven't had any bleeding for over 2 months.
Dr-dr: Hm. And did you have any pregnancy symptoms?
Natalie: Yes, mild morning sickness and considerable fatigue.
Dr-dr: And do you still have those symptoms?
Natalie: Yes.
Dr-dr: Huh. Well, it's not uncommon for the heartbeat to be hard to find at 11 weeks - I'm sure everything is just fine. *smiles reassuringly* So... Have you told many people yet?
And to top it off...
As I'm leaving, with a requisition form for my first ultrasound:
Natalie: Um... Does it matter that the req form says that I'm Slovakian? Because I'm not.
Resident: Really? We don't have to know that even if you were!
*nurse takes form and crosses out "Slovakian" reference*
(Can you imagine the state of the hormonal pregnant woman after that visit? Yeah. Poor Steve.)
The Nurse
Nurse: You should really watch your weight during this pregnancy because of how much you gained with the first.
(I gained 60lbs. It was terrible, but I lost it by about 7mo postpartum.)
Natalie: Um. My doctors from the last pregnancy said that I probably gained that much because I was underweight to begin with, and that it wasn't anything to worry about.
Nurse: You should only gain 20-25lbs.
Natalie: Uhhhh....
The Resident & (really lovely) Student
Resident: Do you have any questions?
Natalie: Yes, I was wondering if the gestational diabetes screening at 10 weeks is warranted considering I have no risk factors.
Resident: *looks at chart* Um. I'm not sure why that was ordered. We'll double-check with the Dr, but I don't think it's necessary until after the 24th week...
Doctor-doctor
After confirming GDS is not required right now, and after resident tried unsuccessfully to find a heartbeat with the doppler for about 10 minutes, Dr-dr tries to find the heartbeat:
Dr-dr: Huh. Normally we can find the heartbeat by now. *tries some more* Have you had any cramping or bleeding?
Natalie: No.
Dr-dr: Hm. None at all?
Natalie: No.
Dr-dr: And when you tested, you were definitely pregnant?
Natalie: Yes, there were two lines. And the timing makes sense. And I'm extremely regular, but I haven't had any bleeding for over 2 months.
Dr-dr: Hm. And did you have any pregnancy symptoms?
Natalie: Yes, mild morning sickness and considerable fatigue.
Dr-dr: And do you still have those symptoms?
Natalie: Yes.
Dr-dr: Huh. Well, it's not uncommon for the heartbeat to be hard to find at 11 weeks - I'm sure everything is just fine. *smiles reassuringly* So... Have you told many people yet?
And to top it off...
As I'm leaving, with a requisition form for my first ultrasound:
Natalie: Um... Does it matter that the req form says that I'm Slovakian? Because I'm not.
Resident: Really? We don't have to know that even if you were!
*nurse takes form and crosses out "Slovakian" reference*
(Can you imagine the state of the hormonal pregnant woman after that visit? Yeah. Poor Steve.)
Monday, January 23, 2012
First prenatal appointment #annoyed
I think my prenatal nurse, Ing, thinks I'm exceptionally stupid. (I'm reasonably confident that Nurse Ingrid is exceptionally stupid.)
(One thing on this planet that pisses me off is... Someone wasting my time. This applies to work (I'm notorious for leaving in the middle of meetings when my presence is no longer required), home life (poor Steve has learned that wasting my time is a BAD idea), and to my dealings with businesses of all sorts - this is why inefficient online stores piss me off so much).
So... At this first appointment, we were the first appointment of the afternoon. We were let in 20 minutes after our scheduled time, 35 minutes after we arrived and filled out first-day paperwork. (This was fine. Whatever. They were busy in the morning and needed a break...)
Then... Nurse Ing went through all the standard questions - last period, medical histories, nothing too exciting. Then she told us that she'd prebooked our 20 week ultrasound without consulting us. Which would have been helpful if it had been booked at a location that was remotely convenient for us, or at a time when we were IN THE COUNTRY.
Ahem.
When we told her that we were unavailable and would prefer the diagnostic imaging place that we used with Frances, she got annoyed and said that the location didn't make any sense because of where we live. (The u/s place we like is in a different city, but only a 10 MINUTE drive from our home. The place she selected was in our city, but still 10min away from home - just not as convenient for us.) So after huffing a bit, she called the place that we did not want to change the date. Gah.
Then, she said that we should get a 11-13 week u/s to check for a couple chromosomal disorders. And proceeded to book the appointment without consulting us about times/places. For a time when we're on holidays in the mountains. (I didn't bother to argue this time. When I got home, I just rescheduled it myself.)
And then she wanted to talk about breastfeeding. She asked if I breastfed my first. I said yes, that I nursed exclusively for 6 months, then in addition to solids until 13 months. Then we sat through a lecture about the importance of breastfeeding and about how formula was evil and about how I was going to hell if I didn't nurse the this baby. (Or something like that.) WTF? How do women who can't nurse for whatever reason deal with nutbars like this in our medical system??
And even after we left the appointment, Nurse Ingrid continued to annoy the living heck out of me. When I went to the local diagnostic testing place to get a slew of what I had been told were "standard" prenatal tests, I find out that the nurse had ordered a gestational diabetes test at TEN weeks. Even though I have NONE of the risk factors.
Risk factors for gestational diabetes:
Over 35 years old. (Maybe 30 is the new 35???)
A history of GD. (I passed the long GDS last time, no problems at all.)
A 9+lb baby in a previous pregnancy. (Frances was 8lbs FULL term.)
Obesity. (Is 130lbs on a 5'5" frame at 10wks pregnant considered obese?)
Gah.
So... The testing couldn't be done that day because I had to fast for the GDS. Which pissed me off. (I don't have a problem taking all the time I need to make sure this is a healthy pregnancy, but there is a difference between "a good idea" and "a stupid waste of time and taxpayer money".)
So I got home and called the prenatal clinic - I was sure they'd just made an annoying mistake on my requisition form. At which pint the nurse tried to convince me that I was high-risk because Frances was 8lbs. Which is quite clearly in the stupid category, imo.
Anyway.
I decided to take all the standard tests the next day (no GDS at 10wks!) and talk with the doctor about the need for the test at my next appointment... (The next appointment left me miserable, thinking the baby was dead. It was awesome. Will write about that soon.)
(One thing on this planet that pisses me off is... Someone wasting my time. This applies to work (I'm notorious for leaving in the middle of meetings when my presence is no longer required), home life (poor Steve has learned that wasting my time is a BAD idea), and to my dealings with businesses of all sorts - this is why inefficient online stores piss me off so much).
So... At this first appointment, we were the first appointment of the afternoon. We were let in 20 minutes after our scheduled time, 35 minutes after we arrived and filled out first-day paperwork. (This was fine. Whatever. They were busy in the morning and needed a break...)
Then... Nurse Ing went through all the standard questions - last period, medical histories, nothing too exciting. Then she told us that she'd prebooked our 20 week ultrasound without consulting us. Which would have been helpful if it had been booked at a location that was remotely convenient for us, or at a time when we were IN THE COUNTRY.
Ahem.
When we told her that we were unavailable and would prefer the diagnostic imaging place that we used with Frances, she got annoyed and said that the location didn't make any sense because of where we live. (The u/s place we like is in a different city, but only a 10 MINUTE drive from our home. The place she selected was in our city, but still 10min away from home - just not as convenient for us.) So after huffing a bit, she called the place that we did not want to change the date. Gah.
Then, she said that we should get a 11-13 week u/s to check for a couple chromosomal disorders. And proceeded to book the appointment without consulting us about times/places. For a time when we're on holidays in the mountains. (I didn't bother to argue this time. When I got home, I just rescheduled it myself.)
And then she wanted to talk about breastfeeding. She asked if I breastfed my first. I said yes, that I nursed exclusively for 6 months, then in addition to solids until 13 months. Then we sat through a lecture about the importance of breastfeeding and about how formula was evil and about how I was going to hell if I didn't nurse the this baby. (Or something like that.) WTF? How do women who can't nurse for whatever reason deal with nutbars like this in our medical system??
And even after we left the appointment, Nurse Ingrid continued to annoy the living heck out of me. When I went to the local diagnostic testing place to get a slew of what I had been told were "standard" prenatal tests, I find out that the nurse had ordered a gestational diabetes test at TEN weeks. Even though I have NONE of the risk factors.
Risk factors for gestational diabetes:
Over 35 years old. (Maybe 30 is the new 35???)
A history of GD. (I passed the long GDS last time, no problems at all.)
A 9+lb baby in a previous pregnancy. (Frances was 8lbs FULL term.)
Obesity. (Is 130lbs on a 5'5" frame at 10wks pregnant considered obese?)
Gah.
So... The testing couldn't be done that day because I had to fast for the GDS. Which pissed me off. (I don't have a problem taking all the time I need to make sure this is a healthy pregnancy, but there is a difference between "a good idea" and "a stupid waste of time and taxpayer money".)
So I got home and called the prenatal clinic - I was sure they'd just made an annoying mistake on my requisition form. At which pint the nurse tried to convince me that I was high-risk because Frances was 8lbs. Which is quite clearly in the stupid category, imo.
Anyway.
I decided to take all the standard tests the next day (no GDS at 10wks!) and talk with the doctor about the need for the test at my next appointment... (The next appointment left me miserable, thinking the baby was dead. It was awesome. Will write about that soon.)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Finally, Winter. #yeg
After a pitiful start to the winter season... there is at least enough snow to cover the gross brown of the city...
After being abandoned by Steve so he could go skiing without the exhausted and miserable ladies of the house, we decided to make the best of another sick day...
(We lasted 20 minutes before heading back to our indoor pyjamas & movie day.)
Here's hoping for a dump of snow this week so that we can go for a proper outing next weekend!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Last Couple Months...
Early November, 2011:
I'm a bit blown away right now. We've known for a bit now and I'm still... wow.
For the last couple of years, I genuinely thought that Frances would be my first and last child. We have been blessed with her, but I found the thought of her never having a brother or sister incredibly sad.
Late last August, I made peace with the fact that I would likely never have another child, or if I did it would be many years into the future. I was okay with that, I was enjoying life, and I was confident about where life was leading.
But then.
Things happened so quickly.
We haven't stopped smiling in days.
It's killing me that we have to wait until Christmas to tell the girl. (She is nothing if not a blabbermouth.)
(I'm largely symptomless right now, but I expect that my posts will get considerably whiny-er in the next while - I wasn't blogging the last time I was knocked up, so I promise to make up for it this time around!)
Late November:
I don't remember being this relaxed - or worried - the first time around.
When I was pregnant with Frances, I was obsessed with all things pregnancy... I knew what I should and shouldn't eat, I read all the pregnancy books that I could get my hands on - I was generally just perpetually distracted. This time, though, I'm still drinking my morning latte (only one shot/day, but still...) and I'm still eating soft cheeses if I damn well feel like it. (I read up on caffeine - one shot of espresso with a couple cups of milk is perfectly reasonable. As is pasteurized cheese. Ptht.)
And this time? Miscarriage is more on my mind than it's ever been. I worry. Discomfort worries me. My minimal symptoms worry me. (I'm exhausted, but that's about it. Almost non-existent morning sickness and my boobs are the same.)
Funny story:
About an hour after I wrote that last bit about minimal symptoms... I couldn't keep anything down. I'm pretty sure it was the new brand of prenatal vitamins - since I switched to another brand, I've been fine-ish. A conversation with Frances while I was wrapped around the porcelain bowl:
Frances: Mommy, what you doing?
Natalie: I'm vomiting because I'm sick.
Frances: Mommy is vomiting in the toilet?
Natalie: Yes.
Frances: Wow! That's so special!
Early December, at about 10 weeks:
Bloated. Starving all the time. Pants don't fit. Bought Bella Bands today - AWESOME.
I'm a bit blown away right now. We've known for a bit now and I'm still... wow.
For the last couple of years, I genuinely thought that Frances would be my first and last child. We have been blessed with her, but I found the thought of her never having a brother or sister incredibly sad.
Late last August, I made peace with the fact that I would likely never have another child, or if I did it would be many years into the future. I was okay with that, I was enjoying life, and I was confident about where life was leading.
But then.
Things happened so quickly.
We haven't stopped smiling in days.
It's killing me that we have to wait until Christmas to tell the girl. (She is nothing if not a blabbermouth.)
(I'm largely symptomless right now, but I expect that my posts will get considerably whiny-er in the next while - I wasn't blogging the last time I was knocked up, so I promise to make up for it this time around!)
Late November:
I don't remember being this relaxed - or worried - the first time around.
When I was pregnant with Frances, I was obsessed with all things pregnancy... I knew what I should and shouldn't eat, I read all the pregnancy books that I could get my hands on - I was generally just perpetually distracted. This time, though, I'm still drinking my morning latte (only one shot/day, but still...) and I'm still eating soft cheeses if I damn well feel like it. (I read up on caffeine - one shot of espresso with a couple cups of milk is perfectly reasonable. As is pasteurized cheese. Ptht.)
And this time? Miscarriage is more on my mind than it's ever been. I worry. Discomfort worries me. My minimal symptoms worry me. (I'm exhausted, but that's about it. Almost non-existent morning sickness and my boobs are the same.)
Funny story:
About an hour after I wrote that last bit about minimal symptoms... I couldn't keep anything down. I'm pretty sure it was the new brand of prenatal vitamins - since I switched to another brand, I've been fine-ish. A conversation with Frances while I was wrapped around the porcelain bowl:
Frances: Mommy, what you doing?
Natalie: I'm vomiting because I'm sick.
Frances: Mommy is vomiting in the toilet?
Natalie: Yes.
Frances: Wow! That's so special!
Early December, at about 10 weeks:
Bloated. Starving all the time. Pants don't fit. Bought Bella Bands today - AWESOME.
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